Jamie Dodger.

Mr Smith reads that, "An MSP has rushed to buy a second home at taxpayers' expense - weeks before new rules would have banned him from cashing in. Lib Dem health spokesman Jamie Stone joined the ranks of MSPs amassing millions in profits from second homes ... Stone would not comment last night."

A response in the best traditions of the Scottish Parliamentary and Liberal democracy. Mr Smith says end the gravy train.

Far, far away.

So, "Far north MSP Jamie Stone has apologised for not being present in the Holyrood debating chamber for the final session before the festive break. Mr Stone had tabled a question on improvements to the A9, but there was silence when his name was called. His absence from last Thursday afternoon's proceedings earned him the wrath of Presiding Officer Alex Fergusson."

Pretty big miscalculation Mr Stone, given that you've been around for several years in the Scottish Parliament.

Must have been up to something better at the time then? But is the "far north" further away then the Far East? He still looks like Harry Potter aged 53 and a half.

Fun guy.

Mr Smith read with bemusement the "interest" disclosures by the Members of the Scottish Parliament (MSPs) in a Political Guide produced by one of Scotland's most widely read magazines, Holyrood.

Amongst them was the extract for Liberal Democrat Jamie Stone MSP who discloses his leisure interests as "singing, gardening, golf, reading, classical music, British butterflies, and edible funghi." Now Mr Smith is amazed that any MSP can fit all of these in to their busy schedules, but the last one stands out. After all, isn't the secret to growing mushrooms said to be keeping them in the dark and feeding them s**t. This has a lot in common with the black arts of politics, especially in the Liberal Democrats.

At least Jamie's mushrooms aren't of the "magic" variety.