IT'S CHRISTMAS ... Not.

"IT might not have quite the same cachet as a personally-signed Christmas card from Scarlett Johanssen or George Clooney. But many people are pleased to receive festive greetings from their MSP – a special card from Holyrood, if not Hollywood. However, Scottish Parliament bosses have now decided to scrap the exclusive Christmas cards which MSPs can buy to send to their friends and contacts after a drop in sales. "

Mr Smith always used to look forward to receiving his MSP Christmas card, but if nothing else it will stop Murdo Fraser MSP this year coming out with his perennial complaint about the Scottish Parliament authorities taking the religious aspects out of the design for the cards.

Bah humbug to one an all.

On the Pill.

"A PERTHSHIRE politician who suggested bounties should be paid for killing grey squirrels has now called for research to be carried out into stopping the non-native animals breeding. Murdo Fraser MSP has long campaigned for the removal of grey squirrels because of the threat they carry to their native red cousins, competing for habitats and food and carrying a disease harmless to them but fatal to reds. He has now lodged a parliamentary motion calling on the Scottish Government to take action to safeguard the future existence of the Scottish native red squirrel, including research into immunocontraception—a hormone treatment which prevents pregnancy—to stop greys breeding."

Surely Mr Fraser has better things to be doing with his time and other causes he could be using his parliamentary position to advance? Putting squrrels on the Pill, whatever next?

Goal!!!

And from Drumlanrig again, "A massive blow against sectarianism was struck in the Scottish Parliament last week. Tory MSP Murdo Fraser laid down a motion issuing good luck to Rangers ahead of their Uefa Cup final appearance this Wednesday. It was promptly signed by Hoops fan and Labour MSP Frank McAveety. What more evidence do you need of the New Scotland?"

Such bi-partisan endeavour is touching. They do say that soccer is the most important thing in life. Even more important than politics.

Law breaker.

So, MSPs are apparently queuing up to join Scottish Labour's Leader Wendy Alexander in declaring themselves law breakers.

The latest is Conservative MSP and Deputy Leader, Murdo Fraser who is the subject of the story ... "Seventeen years after the man himself walked free from prison, the Nelson Mandela TV Lounge plaque is also free. The deputy leader of the Scottish Conservatives has finally made a belated contribution to the truth and reconciliation process by admitting stealing a university memorial to the former ANC leader."

For "appropriation" read theft ... can law breakers (even in student jest) ever be law makers? Especially if they are members of the party of "law and order." Flog him.

Happy Holidays.

Mr Smith reads that "Holyrood authorities were accused of "outrageous" pandering to political correctness by scaling down the religious content of the Scottish Parliament's annual carol service. Murdo Fraser, the Tories' deputy leader, said the "PC brigade" were "taking Christ out of Christmas" without consultation with MSPs or staff."

Murdo was just hoping to be able to "appropriate" a few mince pies at the event.

What about a bit of brotherly love (unless of course it involves a Nelson Mandela plaque)? Or is that too PC?