The Tufty Club.

And from Drumlanrig again, "A new conflict of interest scandal has hit Holyrood. Our tribunes decided to devote an hour or so the other evening to the plight of the red squirrel, which is fast being chased out of town by its larger grey cousin. Tory backbencher Alex Johnstone – whose recent diet suggests he doesn't eat much more than the occasional rodent – waded into battle on behalf of the little red things. However, before speaking, he declared: "I want to ensure that all members are aware of my childhood membership of the Tufty club. I do not say that entirely frivolously because it shows that, for many of us, the red squirrel is a cultural icon of which we should be proud."A cultural icon? What animal does Johnstone see on the Scottish Royal Standard?"

On the Pill.

"A PERTHSHIRE politician who suggested bounties should be paid for killing grey squirrels has now called for research to be carried out into stopping the non-native animals breeding. Murdo Fraser MSP has long campaigned for the removal of grey squirrels because of the threat they carry to their native red cousins, competing for habitats and food and carrying a disease harmless to them but fatal to reds. He has now lodged a parliamentary motion calling on the Scottish Government to take action to safeguard the future existence of the Scottish native red squirrel, including research into immunocontraception—a hormone treatment which prevents pregnancy—to stop greys breeding."

Surely Mr Fraser has better things to be doing with his time and other causes he could be using his parliamentary position to advance? Putting squrrels on the Pill, whatever next?