Wendy City.

So, "WENDY Alexander's recent conversion to pure socialism may have come as a surprise to many voters. Now it is revealed that she cut her political teeth in the loony-left world of student politics, banning sweets because they were “racist” and setting up a sexual harassment hotline that received no calls. Making a name for herself as a student activist in the early 1980s, Alexander denounced all products made by Rowntree Mackintosh, the confectioner, as symbols of apartheid. She managed to get Fruit Pastilles, Smarties, KitKats and Toffos banned from Glasgow University shops “to show support for those fighting for democracy in South Africa”.

Fruit Pastles and apartheid? It's all coming out of Wendy's closet now. Mr Smith quite likes Fruit Pastilles, but you can't get them on this side of The Pond.

Wee Dug.

Mr Smith reads with admiration disclosures that in his student youth Government Minister Douglas Alexander MP was known as "wee Dug" and was the scourge of Edinburgh landlords with his campaigns to better student accomodation.

Mr Smith is even more amazed that "wee Dug" himself then went on to become a landlord by letting out his own £45,000 (1995 prices) Edinburgh flat to students and then had to be served, along with other owners in the building, with an enforcement notice last year by the City of Edinburgh Council to undertake some £500,000 worth of repairs to the building in which his flat sits because of water penetration.

Even more amazing are the disclosures that our Dug was a "hit with the chicks" during his student days. Well you know what they say about the quiet ones ....