Congratulations.

Mr Smith has disclosed that Jamie Stone MSP listed “edible funghi” as one of his interests. Well today the public interest disclosures continue with the revelations that:

Fife Labour MSP Marilyn Livingstone, who also happens to be PM Gordon Brown’s babysitter, lists one of her interests as “yoga”;

Conservative MSP Alex Johnstone lists his only leisure interest as “information technology”;

Clydesdale Labour MSP Karen Gillon includes “an inexplicable obsession with Cliff Richard” and “flower arranging.”

What an interesting bunch of people our MSPs are. You would never guess it from listening to them in the Scottish Parliament’s chamber. Karen Gillon’s musical tastes have clearly gone beyond an interest in singing The Sash. Just for you Karen.

Having a moan.

Mr Smith reads that “Residents of the Western Isles made more official complaints about public services per head of population than anywhere else in Scotland last year. The Scottish Public Services Ombudsman revealed there were nearly twice the level of complaints per capita in the Outer Hebrides than the Scottish average … But despite a huge upsurge in the level of inquiries and complaints received by the ombudsman, most were found to be spurious, with only 2% of complaints fully upheld last year. A further 6% were partly upheld, but the vast majority failed - in many cases, because complainants had not first exhausted the complaints procedure with the public body they were complaining about.”

Mr Smith asks what exactly is the point of a complaints system that “fully” upholds just 2% of complaints? Doesn’t it demonstrate a need for an education campaign of the public to make them aware of their rights, but also their responsibilities?

Fun guy.

Mr Smith read with bemusement the "interest" disclosures by the Members of the Scottish Parliament (MSPs) in a Political Guide produced by one of Scotland's most widely read magazines, Holyrood.

Amongst them was the extract for Liberal Democrat Jamie Stone MSP who discloses his leisure interests as "singing, gardening, golf, reading, classical music, British butterflies, and edible funghi." Now Mr Smith is amazed that any MSP can fit all of these in to their busy schedules, but the last one stands out. After all, isn't the secret to growing mushrooms said to be keeping them in the dark and feeding them s**t. This has a lot in common with the black arts of politics, especially in the Liberal Democrats.

At least Jamie's mushrooms aren't of the "magic" variety.

First Past The Post.

So, it appears that at long last the £420 million Scottish Parliament building at Holyrood is starting to win acclaim from the proletariat. "SCOTS really rate the Holyrood Parliament - though they weren't too sure of it at first. A survey by whisky makers Grant's ranked Londoners' and Scots' impressions of the greatest Scottish innovations of the past 50 years. Scots rated the parliament first, followed by the Forth Road Bridge and Dolly the sheep. "

But is narrowly winning out over the Forth Road Bridge really a good thing?

Visiting friends.

Mr Smith reads that "First Minister Alex Salmond spent last night as a guest of the Duke of Rothesay at Birkhall on the Balmoral Estate.Mr Salmond and his wife, Moira, drove up to Deeside yesterday and had dinner with Charles and Camilla.It was the second time that Mr Salmond had stayed over-night at the prince's Deeside retreat.The first time was in 1998 in the run-up to the first Scottish Parliament election.Last month, Mr and Mrs Salmond spent a night at Balmoral as a guest of the Queen."

Mr Smith thinks that the Salmonds seem desperate to spend as many nights away as possible from their official residence of Bute House in Edinburgh. Still too dusty obviously.

Environ-MENTAL.

The Sunday Herald reports that "The head of the Scottish government's green watchdog is under fire for taking climate-wrecking flights last week. Sir Ken Collins, chairman of the Scottish Environment Protection Agency (Sepa), flew from Edinburgh to Inverness on Wednesday and then on to Orkney on Thursday. This has infuriated some of his staff, who say the flights are "very embarrassing" for Sepa."

Mr Smith suggests that Sir Collins might find it hard to break his bad environmental habits given his previous role as a Labour Member of the European Parliament, back in the old days when there was even less scrutiny of the activities of MEPs than there is now.

Going AWOL.

Mr Smith reads that, "FORMER FIRST minister Jack McConnell has angered his Labour colleagues after missing a key Holyrood vote to attend a leaders' summit in New York. Scottish Labour was deprived of victory in last week's Holyrood housing debate after McConnell flew to America on tycoon Tom Hunter's private jet. His critics within the party believe it is time McConnell chose between being an MSP or the businessman's "special envoy". However, a spokesman for the rich philanthropist Hunter described the Labour MSP's critics as a "bunch of petty politicians". "

Mr Smith did warn at the time that trying to juggle a couple of jobs would be impossible. He takes no satisfaction from having the point proven. When is the by-election?

The Sash.

Speaking of sectarianism .... Mr Smith read that a new book, It's Rangers For Me?, edited by a football journalist and politics lecturer, includes an admission by Labour MSP Karen Gillon that "she once belted out choruses of 'The Sash', a song regarded by many as a sectarian anthem, which begins: "Sure I'm an Ulster Orangeman, from Erin's isle I came; To see my British brethren all of honour and of fame..."

"Gillon uses the first sentence of her contribution to the book to admit singing the Ulster anthem which commemorates the 17th-century military victories of King William of Orange's forces over those led by the deposed Catholic monarch James VII. "Yes, I have sung 'The Sash'," she wrote. "I would be a liar to deny it and I'm not a liar. And I knew the words long before I went to Ibrox. I'm not proud that some people take offence at the song, but it is not worth lying about." The MSP strongly denied being a bigot or sectarian, but defended the right of others to sing the song. "I don't think 'The Sash' is automatically an offensive song, but I am conscious that people can be offended by it. I do think people should be allowed to celebrate their heritage and where they come from. "There are a number of people who have seen me singing 'The Sash', albeit some years ago now, and I don't think it is worth trying to cover up." Gillon, who is married to a Celtic-supporting Catholic, revealed that she had witnessed "nasty and vicious" sectarian behaviour in Lanarkshire politics: "I accept that in some places in Scotland the Labour Party is associated with Catholicism. Religion is an issue for some people at a lower level in the Labour Party. "No way would people stop you from becoming an MSP, MP or a councillor because you were a Protestant, but there is certainly a perception there and we have to tackle that. I certainly wasn't going to pretend that I wasn't a Rangers supporter to get on in the party." "

As Mr Smith said earlier ... welcome to the "new" Scotland.

Mr Chairman.

So just a week after announcing his intention of standing down as a Labour MP at the next General Election, it has been confirmed that John Reid is to become the new Chairman of Celtic Football Club.

Mr Smith wishes Mr Reid all the best in his new role which was clearly incompatible with that of being a Lanarkshire Labour MP. No, not because of the conflict of interests between parliamentary duties and having a well paid job or even because of being a socialist and having a very well paid job, sadly more to do with the fact that any connection with Celtic FC even in these days wouldn't have gone down too well with a large section of Mr Reid's constituents.

Welcome to the "new" Scotland.

Defeated ... again.

So the Record reports that, "THE SCOTTISH government was defeated in Parliament over plans to streamline NHS waiting times. Alex Salmond's loss came after a debate on health instigated by the Liberal Democrats. It was the first Holyrood debate ever held by the Liberal Democrats as an opposition party and it ended in a 77-48 defeat for the SNP. The defeat on health came when MSPs voted on a Lib Dem motion claiming the approach would lead to more red tape."

Mr Smith reckons that this will happen more frequently as the current parliamentary session progresses and he wonders what action the Scottish Government will take in relation to the parliamentary defeat.

He suspects none and that the vote was meaningless.

More flunkies please.

So, Mr Smith reads that Labour Leader of the Labour Group in the Scottish Parliament, has joined calls for more "support "for Members of the Scottish Parliament.

Mr Smith feels tempted to point out that as the Scottish Parliament is passing less legislation as a result of the "new politics," it surely follows that our elected representatives should be able to do more with the resources they currently have. It would be a really strange democracy which actually gave its politicians more money to do less, but Mr Smith wonders if the politicians will accept that? He suspects not.

Clutching at threads.

If this really happened as described in the Herald, then Mr Smith thinks that Team Salmond need to think seriously about picking their battles more carefully. This one comes across as a bit of a joke.

"Alex Salmond complained to the Defence Secretary that basing Scottish infantry soldiers outside Scotland will undermine attempts to boost the population. The First Minister yesterday wrote to Des Browne saying it is "regrettable", as it "seems destined to lose Scotland, through marriage and other reasons, many of its young men who we would have hoped would make their long-term future after service life in Scotland". The SNP leader's concerns were dismissed by a Whitehall source as "the best demonstration we could have of somebody manufacturing a grievance"."

Cop that.

Mr Smith reads that "THIEVES have struck at the million-pound Edinburgh home of Lothian and Borders chief constable David Strang." Now it is bad enough that the home of the Chief Constable is targeted by thieves: hasn't he ever heard of crime prevention? But it will also make some of the members of the Lothian and Borders Police Board ask themselves the question whether they are paying their senior cops too much, if they can afford to live in "million pound homes" in Edinburgh's leafy Murrayfield?

Labour's Room 101.

The Herald Diary says "FOLLOWING Labour's travails at Holyrood this past week," says the Diary's man-in-the-know at the Scottish Parliament "what with Wendy Alexander's less than auspicious start, and the resignation of Labour's spin doctor, it's maybe not surprising that Labour's support unit has moved from its base on the ground floor to - yes, you've guessed it - Room 101."

Teenage kicks.

Mr Smith reads that “A Teenage councillor who holds one of the most prestigious civic roles in Scotland has dropped out of university after failing three exams. John West, 19, was halfway through the first year of his law degree when he was elected to Aberdeen City Council in May and made depute provost … However, Mr West, who is highly regarded by his colleagues, insisted last night that his decision to drop out of Aberdeen University had nothing to do with not been able to "juggle" his job effectively and study for a demanding degree. "I have been thinking about it since the beginning of the year because the course just was not for me because I was not enjoying it," he said. "There is no point sticking out something that I am not enjoying. At first I decided to change course, which is a pretty common thing to do, but have now decided to take a year out to concentrate on the council job. I am hoping to go back to university in the future and do something else."

Mr Smith is not sure that this is what our Holyrood politicians intended when they reduced the age at which people could be elected to local councils from 21 to 18. It’s even worse when you think that he is giving up the law for politics, and that he seems to view politics as nothing more than a “job.”

It's a gamble.

The one issue that seems to be dominating political discussion is whether the new PM will call a snap General Election.

Mr Smith noted that the Herald did a vox-unpopuli of senior Labour figures from the Bournemouth Labour Conference on Tuesday which featured one of the most arrogant comments he has ever heard uttered by a Scottish politician. Asked for his views on whether Gordon Brown should call an early election, Edinburgh Labour MP Nigel Griffiths, and former researcher to the Leader, reportedly said: "If we have the election now, my majority will go up from 400 to 3000. It is a gamble but he should take it."

Mr Smith is lost for words. He hopes Mr Griffiths didn't mean his comment in the manner it came across. Sadly, he thinks he probably did. Those that live by the will of the voters, die by the will of the voters.

Shooting Tzars.

Mr Smith reads that "A SINGLE body should be handed the role of inspecting, auditing and regulating Scotland's public services, an independent report said. There are currently an estimated 46 "tsars", ombudsmen, commissioners and other bodies responsible for scrutinising various aspects of public sector work."

A come the revolution moment then .... where's the nearerst wall?

Art of communication.

Mr Smith sees that the Scottish Government is seeking new Communication Officers. What he finds strange is that the vacancies have apparently arisen “Due to staff moves.” They are “recruiting experienced communicators with excellent verbal and written skills, sound judgement, confidence and credibility.”

The new regime obviously had a big clear out of the old Communication Officers then?

Staying alive.

ATTICUS in the Sunday Times reports that: “Jack McConnell is clearly enjoying life away from the rigours of high office. He has given up wearing ties, telling friends he’s had enough of them after almost 30 years. Rather more alarmingly, he has also taken to undoing the top two buttons of his shirt and strutting around Holyrood like John Travolta.”

Mr Smith thinks that Mrs McConnell should be concerned and supplies a link to appropriate attire to complete Mr McConnell's image.

Life of Brian.

Further to the news that Scottish Labour’s Communications Director, Brian Lironi, is to leave the People’s Party less than two months after taking the job, comes the suggestion according to one paper of note, that it is the Labour Leader Wendy Alexander’s “unreasonable demands” on him that made him quit.

Wendy reportedly was “calling and texting him around the clock, at 1 am and later. She’s just totally oversensitive about any criticism.” Who would want to work for Wendy? Who would want to want Wendy to run the country if that is how she deals with people?

Sadly, for our Brian there is no prospect of him being able to return to his old job as Political Editor at the Sunday Mail with the news that Mark Aitken, Political Correspondent of the Mail on Sunday, is to take up Brian’s old job.

Brian Lironi, is the first Winner of Mr Smith’s newly inaugurated “Nae Luck” Award.

Paying the piper.

So, Scottish Government "Ministers claim they have inherited a hidden £65m liability for privately-financed school projects that the previous Labour-LibDem administration failed to budget for in full."

Mr Smith is not surprised that the Scottish Government's financial acountancy systems go haywire approaching elections, especially when a change of government is likely, indeed actually took place in May. Who knows perhaps next time around, it will be an SNP administration leaving its successors a bit of a poisoned chalice?

Sour grapes.

Mr Smith noted that former Labour MSP and Scottish Executive Minister, Allan Wilson, turned up in the Sunday Herald to launch a rather bitter attack on the new SNP Government, “SNP turned green … and now yellow.”

Mr Smith is disappointed in the tone of Mr Wilson's article which suggests little more than sour grapes about the fact he lost his Cunninghame North seat very unexpectedly to the SNP in May's elections, by a margin of just 48 votes.

Mr Smith thinks he should just tale a chill pill and move on, otherwise he will have no chance of getting back into the Scottish Parliament in May 2011.

And by the way, Mr Wilson might want to take down his MSP website, given he is no longer actually an MSP.

Kettle ... pot ... black.

Mr Smith read with interest the comments of Liberal Democrat MSP John Farquhar Munro about the Leader of his Party, Sir Menzies Campbell MP.

"LIBERAL DEMOCRAT leader Menzies Campbell has suffered another challenge to his authority after one of his party's MSPs said he should be replaced by Charles Kennedy. John Farquhar Munro, MSP for Ross, Skye and Inverness West, said Campbell had not been a success as leader as he was "not a good people person". He added that he would sign Kennedy's nomination papers today if asked to. "

Mr Smith cannot help but think that Sir Ming being accused of not being "a people person," by Mr Munro, is a bit like the proverbial kettle calling the pot black. Mr Munro isn't exactly noted for being Mr Personality.

Tommy Sheridan MSc.

So, former Solidarity Party Member of the Scottish Parliament, Tommy Sheridan is seeking to replace the "MSP" title after his name which he lost on 3rd May, with those of Master of Science following disclosures he is to return to university to do another degree in Social Research at Strathclyde University.

Mr Smith wishes Mr Sheridan well. It is to be hoped he gets a chance to finish his course and doesn't find himself unable to because he is in the clink for having been found guilty of having perjured himself during his successful court action against the Scottish News of the World earlier this year. He has of course not been charged with any offence, let alone been proved guilty of any crime.

We are family.

Mr Smith reads that: "ALMOST 50 MSPs have given parliamentary jobs to members of their immediate family, a Sunday Herald investigation has revealed. Hundreds of thousands of pounds of public cash have been taken out of the Holyrood expenses scheme to put MSPs' spouses, children and in-laws on the state-funded payroll.
Some have employed two relatives at the same time in what critics describe as a scam to "top up the incomes of their nearest and dearest"."

Mr Smith asks in what other job, in either the public sector or the private sector would someone be able to employ their own family without any scrutiny or oversight of what was happening? This is one practice that deserves to be consigned to the Scottish Parliament's dust bin.

And another pat on the back to Mr Paul Hutcheon who breaks the story yet again in the public interest.