Kings Of The Castle.

And from Drumlanrig again, "What short memories Holyrood's security guards have. It wasn't that long ago that Sir George Reid, was king of the castle as Presiding Officer, but when he came back last week he had difficulty persuading security that he should be admitted. Reid sniffily commented that he found it easier to get back into the House of Commons, even though he ceased being an SNP MP 30 years ago ... Spare a thought for Reid's successor Alex Fergusson, who has been seen limping around Parliament. When asked what the matter was, the Old Etonian replied "a spot of gout". As he nurses his aching joints, Ferguson can console himself with the fact that fellow sufferers included Henry VIII, Sir Isaac Newton and Galileo."

The Truth Hurts.

"Alex Salmond is at the centre of two separate investigations into the "veracity" of replies to MSPs."

Mr Smith dares to suggest that if our politicians were forced to actually tell the truth then the number of them that would be left sitting in the Debating Chamber in the Scottish Parliament could probably be counted on the fingers of one hand.

Good luck to the Presiding Officer of the Scottish Parliament, Alex Fergusson MSP, with his inquiries but Mr Smith suspects they will be quietly buried before they actually have to force MSPs to do something which they are genetically preprogrammed to be incapable of doing, namely telling the voters the truth.

Restless Natives.

Mr Smith thinks that when stories like this one make it into the press then there is a very strong possibility there is some substance to them.

"A MURMUR of discontent is insidiously making its way around the corridors in Holyrood. With it is a question, which MSPs increasingly appear to be privately (for now) asking – "Is our Presiding Officer up to the job?" To which more are beginning to answer "no".

Mr Smith thinks the Presiding Officer should be watching his back.

Parliament Says No.

From Atticus, "Charity begins at the parliamentary fees office, according to some MSPs' expenses claims. Alex Fergusson, Holyrood's £95,000-a-year Presiding Officer, appeared to be all heart when he placed an advert in his local paper congratulating the Dumfried and Galloway Befriending Project, a charity for disadvantaged children, on its 10th anniversary. When he tried to reclaim the £132.78 costs from taxpayers, parliament officials refused to pay. Him Mateher, the £80,000-a-year enterprise minister, tried to claim £28.91 for Christmas cards he had sent. He, too, was told where to get off."

Very enterprising Mr Mather. Mr Fergusson really should just know better.

Atticus also highlights that Matthew Marr, the former spin doctor to Scottish Labour Leader Wendy Alexander who was forced to resign after calling First Minister Alex Salmond MSP a "c**t" has decied on a change of career and has started training to become a teacher. He really didn't have anywhere left to go in public affairs.

Unparliamentary language.

Mr Smith highlights that the arrival of the "new politics" in Scotland has been accompanied by a commensurate reduction in the standard and quality of political insults on the part of First Minister Alex Salmond who has variously refered to: PM Gordon Brown as a "feartie" for not calling a General Election; and labelling former Sun Editor Kevin McKenzie as a "tube."

Very unparliamentary language which will probably not go down too well with the Scottish Parliament's Old Etonian Presiding Officer Alex Fergusson should Oor Alex choose to use the phrases in the Holyrood Chamber.

Familiarity breeds contempt.

No more first names in the Scottish Parliament's Chamber then now that Holyrood's Headie and Old Etonian Alex Fergusson has banned MSPs from calling each other by their Christian names. He has also decided that "members taking part in debates should be present for opening and closing speeches and stay in the chamber for at least two speeches after their own contribution."

Mmmmm. Mr Smith suspects it will feel a bit like being back in public school for some of Holyrood's posher members, but Mr Smith hopes they draw the line at reinstating the "slipper" for recalcitrant MSPs flouting the new rules.