Summer Holiday.

It would appear that the SNP's obsession with control freakery and tokenism may now even be extending to telling its political representatives where they can go on holiday.

"SNP MSPs are being urged by the top brass to steer clear of foreign holidays this year to avoid embarrassing the party during its "Homecoming" celebrations. Rank-and-file MSPs were told at a meeting before Christmas that it would be "preferable" if they took holidays in Scotland in 2009."

If anyone wants to have a holiday in Scotland because they really want to then great, but do the SNP really believe that their MSPs should head "doon the watter" just because they've been told to do so? Mr Smith thinks the SNP are in grave danger of disappearing down the nearest tokenism pothole.

Mr Salmond Is Away.

"FIRST Minister Alex Salmond is to spend his holiday playing golf in Scotland. Mr Salmond will take a short break on the west coast of Scotland, his spokesman said. He will go on leave and will return to work next Monday."

Somewhere in the West of Scotland. If you see him let Mr Smith know.

Time off.

Mr Smith reads that "(Westminster) MPs will have an additional four days of holiday in 2008 compared with this year, it has been announced. They will take 91 days - or 18 working weeks - off, Harriet Harman, the leader of the Commons, has confirmed."

Now Mr Smith realises that many MPs use the "time off" to spend more time on constituency duties which is all very well and good, but wouldn't it be nice to have 18 weeks out of the office every year? Perhaps the proletariat should get to vote on the plans. After all, we do pay their wages.