The Truth Hurts.

"Scotland's top civil servant has become embroiled in a row over political bias after saying the SNP was elected because of public discontent at a widening poverty gap and other problems under Labour. Sir John Elvidge, the Scottish Government’s permanent secretary, said the creation of Holyrood highlighted the poor state of health, education, and poverty north of the border under two Labour-led coalitions. Sir John’s comments, made in a professional journal, have been criticised for appearing to breach the protocol which requires civil servants to avoid becoming involved in party political issues."

The truth does hurt, but when is Sir John due to retire?

Bonus Ball Anyone?

"POLICE officers across Scotland have been paid more than £14million in bonuses in the last year."

Nice work if you can get it. It's better than the lottery.

Who's There?

"THEY'VE all been high-profile Holyrood ministers and now they're fighting for the top job in Labour. But do ordinary voters recognise Andy Kerr, Cathy Jamieson and Iain Gray? We hit the streets of Scotland with their photos to find out - and just for fun, we included a picture of Mr Big, from TV's Sex And The City. Jamieson was recognised by half the people we polled. Only one in 12 could name Gray and two named Kerr. But every single person could identify Mr Big - alias actor Chris Noth."

Who is Mr Noth? Mr Smith wants Mr Noth to be Leader of the Scottish Labour Party. At least people would know who he is.

Bad Cop ... Yet Again.

He's a bad cop, but for how much longer?

But if he wasn't a police officer would he have gotten off so lightly?

"A nightclub doorman who was headbutted by an off-duty policeman has hit out at the justice system after his attacker escaped going to court. Instead, Constable Samuel Johnston had to pay David Cantwell compensation of £250 and is still a serving officer in Fife. Mr Cantwell says he has been denied justice - but prosecutors say the case was handled in the manner laid down by the Scottish Parliament."

Inhale?

Mr Smith was interested to read a brief profile of the three candidates for the Scottish Labour Leadership in the Sunday press and their different responses to the quesion of whether they had smoked canabis?

Cathy Jamieson MSP, a former Justice Minister declared: "Like many of my generation, I have tried it, but as an otherwise non-smoker I did not find it a pleasant experience."

Andy Kerr MSP and architect of Scotland's smoking ban declined to answer the question.

With Iain Gray MSP commenting that "Come on, I was student in the '70s."

Commendable honesty ... except from Mr Kerr. And Ms Jamieson gets nearest to the "smoked it, but never inhaled" line from former US President Bill Clinton uttered during his first Presidential election campaign.

Polling Power.

"The SNP claimed yesterday that polling evidence showed the party maintaining its momentum in the wake of their Glasgow East by-election last week, putting it ten points ahead of Labour. They say that an analysis of the Scottish segments of UK polls in the course of July, including two polls this week, puts them on 37% compared to 27% for Labour, well up on the only purely Scottish poll a month ago. The Tories are on 17% on this analysis, and the LibDems on 14%, with others totalling 5%. The Nationalist claim this aggregate of polling evidence points to them winning 35 seats in a general election, compared to just 13 for Labour."

Mr Smith thinks we need to take the SNPs claims with a pinch of salt, but then again that is probably what Mr Smith would have said about SNP's claims about winning the Glasgow East by-election ... and look what happened.

2-1 On.

Mr Smith thinks it won't be that straightforward, it shouldn't be given Andy's record, but when did you last meet a losing bookie?

"FORMER health minister Andy Kerr is the bookies' favourite to win the battle for the Scottish Labour leadership. Ladbrokes have made him 2-1-on favourite, with former enterprise minister Iain Gray at 3-1 and acting leader Cathy Jamieson at 4-1. So far, Kerr has the declared backing of 10 MSPs, Jamieson 12 and Gray 13."

Flying The Flag.

"A rebranding of Scotland's rolling stock with Saltire livery has been criticised as a waste of money. It is feared the cost of redesigning and repainting trains and stations to give them a uniform look will run into millions of pounds. The move by Transport Scotland would see the Strathclyde Partnership for Transport (SPT) brand at stations and on trains removed."

One million pounds is a lot of money for paint and some Saltires. Welcome to Scotland.

And Then There Were Three.

"Three candidates will battle to become the next Scottish Labour leader, it has been confirmed. The contest will be between former health minister Andy Kerr, former deputy leader Cathy Jamieson and finance spokesman Iain Gray."

Looking at the nominations on the Scottish Labour Party's website all of the candidates felt the need to ... nominate themselves ... which seems a bit strange to Mr Smith. But given the balance in the number of supporters for each of the candidates' nominations there doesn't appear to be a clear frontrunner. This could run and run until mid-September.

The race for the Deputy Leadership looks more predictable with Johann Lamont MSP having more support from MSPs than Bill Butler who looks certain to be the also ran in the contest. Significantly one Mr Butler's supported his wife Patricia Ferguson MSP.

On The Road Again.

"The Scottish Government is embarking on the first of four cabinet meetings to be held across the country this summer. First Minister Alex Salmond is visiting Dumfries and will host a reception for local good causes. "

But will they live up to the old adage about "what goes on tour stays on tour" ...? Bit of a busman's holiday though ... politicians using their summer holidays to meet the voters?

Law Breakers.

Courtesy of Drumlanrig, "The SNP celebrated their historic victory with a good old-fashioned piss-up in Glasgow's Barrachnie Inn on Thursday night – or rather Friday morning. So heady were the by-election celebrations that, after the special 3am licence expired, the Nationalist revellers carried on regardless. What would Kenny "Drink is the Devil's Juice" MacAskill, have made of such behaviour, we wonder? No one knows, as MacAskill wasn't present – just as he wasn't around for much of the campaign itself. We wonder why?"

Tut, tut, tut ... breaking Scotland's drink laws.

Double Dutch.

Mr Smith thinks that Scottish Labour needs someone as Leader who can rub more than a couple of brain cells together, but do they really need an Aeschylus?

"Scottish Labour leadership contender Iain Gray sets out his vision for a party coming to terms with defeat in Glasgow ... “A greek poet wrote "he who learns must suffer". Glasgow East was a terrible result for Scottish Labour and we have certainly suffered. Now we must use the forthcoming leadership debate to ensure that we learn …”

Mmmmm. It's all double dutch to Mr Smith, as it will be to the typical Labour voter, if there is any such thing after the Glasgow East by-election result. Get yourself a new speechwriter Iain before it is too late, or you could end up as a Geek.

Curran Affairs.

So fresh from losing Labour's fourth safest seat in Scotland and the twenty fifth safest Labour seat in the whole of the UK in the Glasgow East By-election, it would appear that Margaret Curran's bitter experience of losing ... now somehow qualifies her to become Deputy Leader of the Scottish Labour Party.

"Margaret Curran is mulling a bid for the Labour deputy leadership at Holyrood, after her unsuccessful bid to win the Glasgow East by-election."

God loves a trier, but it demonstrates yet again the perils of allowing PM Gordon Brown to persuade you into standing in by-elections. Until she did that and lost Margaret was being touted as a possible Leader of the Scottish Labour Party, never mind a Deputy.

First Division.

So the Sir Humphreys aren't for striking unlike their "lower" level colleagues.

"SCOTLAND'S senior civil servants have voted against joining their lower-paid colleagues in striking over pay. Members of the First Division Association (FDA) have voted not to take any industrial action and to accept a pay offer of around 2 per cent."

It might have something to do with this later story ...

"THE Scottish Government is drawing up plans to split from the UK civil service machine, following demands from SNP ministers. Sir John Elvidge, the top civil servant at the Edinburgh administration, has revealed that he has begun a "substantial exercise" to examine how the 15,000-strong civil service department may become an independent organisation."

Queue Here.

Is it just Mr Smith or is it very ironic that when Wendy Alexander decided to stand as Leader of the Scottish Labour Party last year the Peoples' Party couldn't even rustle up one Labour MSP with a pulse to oppose her, but that now she has resigned there are reportedly no fewer than five Labour MSPs in the frame to have a go at winning the top job?

"THE battle to replace Wendy Alexander as Labour leader in Scotland begins when nominations open today. The front-runners are public services spokesman Andy Kerr, finance spokesman Iain Gray and current deputy leader Cathy Jamieson. Ex-Glasgow council leader Charlie Gordon - responsible for the dodgy donation that dogged Alexander's time as leader - and back-bencher Ken Macintosh have also expressed an interest."

Just a pity one of them didn't have the get up an go to challenge her last year, it would have saved them a year of embarrassing headlines and total political distraction. They say that the Brits love a queue.

The End?

The Magnificent Seven.

It doesn't augur well for Ross Finnie MSP's Scottish Lib Dem Leadership bid.

"It was not the most auspicious of political campaign launches. As Ross Finnie composed himself, prepared to seize the moment and set out his vision of the future, he looked out on an audience of seven."

And one of them was the journalist from The Herald. Here's hoping things pick up for the Captain.

Thief.

If the Police can't even protect their own property what chance for the rest of us? They really should be more careful.

"THE keys to a police station and a set of blue flashing lights are among thousands of pounds worth of property stolen from Lothian and Borders Police ... Documents obtained by the Evening News show thieves have netted loot worth more than £6000 from police vehicles and stations in the past three years.As well as the red-faced officers who had their station keys stolen, high-value items including two motorbikes have been taken. Smaller thefts recorded include a police baton, a panic alarm and even a tin of coffee worth £45."

Spin Unspun.

Another example of "bury the trash day" in action at Westminster.

"Prime Minister Gordon Brown was under fire last night after revealing his government now employs 73 spindoctors, costing taxpayers £6million a year. He presided over an increase in the size of the Whitehall PR machine, despite his pledge on taking office to end the era of spin which typified Tony Blair’s reign at Number 10 ... The rise was disclosed in the Commons as MPs left for their summer holidays."

Has Mr Brown done anything he said he would do before he took over from former PM Tony Blair?

Fingers Crossed?

Flak Jacket Two.

Mrs Smith has just pointed out to Mr Smith that Mr Brown already has a flak jacket as recently modelled by the PM during his weekend visit to British forces in Iraq, hence the reason why he didn't need to buy the gift of a Presidential leather jacket from George Bush.

Nice machine gun Gordon. Any targets in mind?

Flak Jacket.

Mr Smith thinks that given all the criticism which PM Gordon Brown is on the receiving end of these days a Presidential flak jacket would have come in very handy.

"Gordon Brown chose not to keep a leather jacket presented to him by US President George Bush on his first visit to America as Prime Minister, it emerged yesterday. When pictures of the fur-collared brown bomber jacket - complete with presidential logo and badge reading "Rt Hon Gordon Brown" - first became public, observers noted that it did not fit well with the PM's usual wardrobe of sober suits. And details of gifts to ministers published yesterday showed that he chose not to take up the option of buying it for personal use."

Doris Esquire MSP.

As reported by Atticus, "It's not just by-elections that cause tempers to fray. It seems Bob Doris, the nationalist MSP for Glasgow, was involved in a scuffle in the city's SNP headquarters with a staff member. The chap had been off work with stress. But when he tried to talk it over with Doris, he lost his temper. The police were informed of the fracas. As a colleague diplomatically put it: "Bob's employer practices leave a bit to be desired."

Flashy Bad Cop.

"A former police chief is breaking the law in his £30,000 five series BMW - by sporting flashing blue lights. David Mulhern, 51, retired from the force to join the Scottish Police Services Authority (SPSA) as chief executive. But he kept his BMW with two blue lights on the front grille and siren. Only serving officers and emergency workers can have the lights."

He's another bad cop. And as soon as he is found out he decides to get rid of the offending articles. Say's it all.

Cheeky Monkey.

Mr Smith read with interest the insight story of the Labour Party campaign in the Glasgow East by-election, from Brendan Perring in yesterday's Sunday Times. But Mr Smith also noticed that the print version of the story in Scotland was entitled "desperate days for Labour" whilst in the online version on the Sunday Times' own website this became "they would have employed a monkey."

Mr Smith isn't sure whether the change is an attempt to play up the likelihood of an SNP victory in Glasgow East or an even bigger attempt to downplay Mr Perring's background.

Mr Perring complains that he'd "spent £100 on petrol driving party members around the constituency in my own car, but when I asked if I would be reimbursed, I was told Labour didn’t do that." Never mind. Mr Smith is sure that the Sunday Times will have well rewarded Mr Perring for his 2,100 word insight into the Labour campaign.