Peer-Less.

"A LABOUR PEER AT THE centre of the "cash for laws" row is facing fresh controversy over his work for one of the world's biggest defence companies. Half the parliamentary questions tabled by Lord Moonie, a close friend of prime minister Gordon Brown, relate to areas of commercial interest to US-based Northrop Grumman Corporation."

In case people have forgotten the history.

In the last review of the boundaries of Westminster constituencies when the number of seats in the PM's backyard of Fife was reduced from five to four, it was Dr Lewis Moonie who selflessly bowed out the game of political musical chairs in Fife by standing down from the Commons thereby avoiding pulling the current PM Gordon Brown into an embarrassing nomination fight with the other Labour MPs in Fife. His selfless act was of course recognised by his elevation to the House of Lords, but Mr Smith thinks if Lord Moonie is dragged further into a lobbying scandal in the Lords it will unavoidably rub off onto the PM. Unless of course our Gordon can keep Lord Moonie out of it somehow?

The Broons.

Courtesy of one of Mr Smith's Glasgow "readers." Did you see it? Was it worth waiting for?

Never-endum.

Mr Smith admires Mr Salmond's optimism, but Mr Smith believes the SNP have no chance of winning a referendum on independence in the foreseeable future, so what excuse will Oor Eck come up with for not having one? We will have to wait and see,

"Alex Salmond is to press ahead with plans for an independence referendum bill next year despite the economic downturn and the collapse of Scottish banking. The first minister said Barack Obama’s victory in the American election demonstrates that people can vote for change during turbulent times."

No offence to Mr Salmond, but he ain't no Barack Obama, and more to the point, Gordon Brown, whatever his faults, is no George Walker Bush.

The Gorbals.

Never has the Gorbals has such prominence in the field of international relations.

"BARACK OBAMA made a historic phone call to Gordon Brown yesterday - while the PM was in the Gorbals. They discussed the global economic crisis for the first time since Obama became US president. The talks, which included plans for a summit in London in April, came minutes after Brown arrived at the City Building training academy in Glasgow's Gorbals."

Cabbage.

Why isn't Mr Smith surprised by this revelation?

If a vegetable best sums up the political profile of Prime Minister Gordon Brown then Mr Smith would have been willing to suggest the humble cabbage. Why do Mr Brown's spin doctors let the PM make such rudimentary slip ups in associating himself which such trivia, even if it is for a good cause?

"IT'S a recession, eat cabbage. Gordon Brown has proposed his latest remedy to Britain's deepening recession. The Prime Minister is among a number of politicians who have named their favourite recipes for a fundraising book in aid of the Donaldson's school for the deaf in Edinburgh. Asked to nominate his own favourite dish, Brown lived up to his Presbyterian image by plumping for Rumbledethumps – a gloopy mixture of mashed potato and cabbage."

Duff By Name.

Courtesy of the Herald Diary, "PRIME Minister Gordon Brown's Christmas tree at 10 Downing Street has been supplied by Buchlyvie farmer Euan Duff. That is not an excuse, however, for visitors to No 10 to ask about his "Duff Christmas tree".

Not just the Christmas tree thinks Mr Smith, given some of the UK Government's questionable decisions.

Flash. Ahhhh ....hhhhh.

Corporal Punishment.

Revealing insight into Prime Minister Gordon Brown's upbringing.

"GORDON BROWN'S headmaster gave him the belt for wanting to watch Scotland play on telly. Kirkcaldy High School head Robert Adam found out that some of his pupils were going to sneak off to watch their heroes play Italy in a vital World Cup qualifier. So he told any boys who wanted to see the game to come to his office - and belted them."

Mr Smith never got the belt for watching football matches, but did the PM ever get the belt for anything else?

A Life Less Ordinary.

Courtesy of Drumnlanrig, "Gordon Brown has made a habit of appearing before tough, impartial audiences while campaigning in Glenrothes. During his first appearance in an industrial estate he bravely met six handpicked Labour supporters. On his second visit, at the Bowhill War Memorial Hall, he addressed what one hack described as "ordinary, undecided voters like Helen Eadie". Ms Eadie, is, of course, the Dunfermline East Labour MSP. There she was sitting beside the Labour MSPs Claire Baker, Marilyn Livingstone and John Park."

Worse than that. Mrs Eadie can't even vote in the by-election, given that she lives in Dunfermline East. Which member of the fourth estate was it?

Union City Blues.

Interesting political developments following the £30 billion buyout of two "Scottish" banks by the UK Treasury and taxpayer.

Mr Smith isn't an economist, unlike Scotland's First Minister Alex Salmond MSP who used to work for RBS, one of the banks bailed out, but even he can see that the UK government covering a country ten times the size of one covered by a possible independent Scottish government would have an easier time coming up with £30 billion. Mr Salmond seems to be suggesting otherwise, but Mr Smith thinks that the current economic crisis has severely dented the SNP's plans for independence.

The last two week's have demonstrated more clearly than anything else the benefits of being part of the Union, whatever the downsides.

"Prime Minister Gordon Brown said yesterday an independent Scotland could not have bailed out its struggling banks. He said the financial strength of the United Kingdom made a £37bn capital injection possible for banks including the Royal Bank of Scotland and HBOS."

Not Jackin' It In.

So it would appear that after a year of deliberation, procrastination and delay, all for the convenience of the Scottish Labour Party in avoiding a by-election, that Jack McConnell MSP won't now be heading off to be British Commissioner to Malawi until 2011. Just last year he was billed as being uniquely qualified to fill and one that our Jack was honoured to have, but obviously now not until 2011.

If there is one thing more likely to upset the voters than "fixing" a government job for a politician simply to avoid a by-election then Mr Smith would like to know what it is. The whole thing brings politics in Scotland and the UK into nothing short of disrepute. But can Malawi, one of the world's poorest countries, wait another couple of years before it benefits from our Jack's unique skill set?

"JACK McConnell's planned departure from Holyrood has been put on hold by Gordon Brown, ensuring that Labour will avoid a bruising by-election struggle against the SNP. McConnell will not be sent to Malawi as the UK's High Commissioner until after the next Scottish elections in 2011, and is instead be made a personal envoy to Brown, working in the developing world. McConnell had been due to leave for Malawi next year, which would have triggered a by-election in his Motherwell and Wishaw seat. But now he will stay in the seat, while taking on the one-day-a-week job for Brown."

Tradition.

"GORDON BROWN will hit the campaign trail in the crucial Glenrothes by-election. He has insisted in the past that he supports the tradition of Prime Ministers not getting involved in by-elections. But in the wake of a rousing conference speech, he is set to campaign in the constituency before a date for the contest - believed to be November 6. That way he will not be breaking the tradition."

Tradition probably doesn't apply when you are the Member of Parliament for the seat next door. Tradition will be even more difficult for the voters to understand when Labour loses the seat. Then again Labour losing elections is actually becoming a bit of a tradition.

Baby-Face.

And he's a former Catholic priest to boot. It makes it more difficult for people to question his motives.

"TO HIS colleagues, he was an unlikely assassin. A former Catholic priest who quit his vocation to pursue his political ambitions, David Cairns was a loyal Labour MP who had never voted against the government and had been rewarded with a ministerial post in the Scotland Office. But last night, he became the most senior member of the party to call for Gordon Brown to go, after he was outed as the minister who, 24 hours before, had threatened to resign if Labour lost the Glenrothes by-election. That forced him to step down. His resignation from the Scotland Office came as a surprise to those close to him: only 12 hours earlier, he had not been planning to quit."

And ironically it managed to overshadow the appointement by new Scottish Labour Leader Iain Gray MSP of his first Shadow Cabinet. The curse of Wendy Alexander is still alive and well.

That Sinking Feeling.

From today's Edinburgh Evening News.

Spun Off.

Mr Smith thinks more and more of Gordon's team of spinners will be trying to find themselves new berths as the General Election approaches.

"Gordon Brown was last night said to have suffered a "huge embarrassment" after it emerged that his Scottish spin doctor is quitting No 10 to work for an American PR company just weeks before the Glenrothes by-election. Paul Sinclair, who had previously worked as a special adviser to Douglas Alexander, the International Development Secretary, moved to Downing Street three months ago to focus on Scotland."

Embarassing ... probably not, but he can't afford to lose his backroom team. That will just make things even worse for the PM.

CB-I.

As spotted by Drumlanrig, "The CBI has complained much about the sub-standard level of education in the country. Spelling is poor, for example. But in the programme for its annual dinner in Glasgow last week, the confederation referred to an 'acheivement'. Altogether now, 'i' before 'e' except after…"

They were obviously too busy basking in the glory of Gordon Brown's speech to their annual dinner to spell check.

First Preferences.

It would appear that Scottish Labour Leadership contender Iain Gray MSP has realised that just about the only thing that can stop him from becoming Labour Leader in Scotland is being publicly endorsed by PM Gordon Brown.

"Iain Gray, the frontrunner for the Scottish Labour leadership, has refused to be publicly endorsed by Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling amid fears that association with their failing government will damage his chances. Allies of the prime minister and the chancellor have been working behind the scenes to gather support for Gray. In a series of telephone calls to MPs, MSPs and trade union leaders, they have dismissed rivals Cathy Jamieson, the former justice minister, as being “too left wing” and Andy Kerr, the former health minister, as “too nationalistic”.

Mr Smith agrees. Stay as far away from Gordon as you possible can Iain, but it interesting to read how Brown-ites see the other leadership contenders.

Team GB.

Mr Smith has been watching the gyrations of our politicians following the end of the Olympics with bemusement. It is said that success has many fathers and failure is an orphan. The Olympics have reinforced that no end, with PM Gordon Brown suggesting that there should a GB Olympic football team at the 2012 Olympics in London, a proposal which drew short shrift from FM Alex Salmond, and with the SNP Sports Minister in the Scottish Government, countering that there should be a Scottish team in the Olympics.

Perhaps our politicians should just stay out of sport.

There will be a Scottish team in the Olympics when Scotland votes to become independent ... and not before, and there is no chance of Gordon Brown's suggestion of there being a UK Olympic football team for 2012, if for no reason other than the fact that Gordon Brown will be long gone as PM well before then.

Maybe the politicians should just get on with politics and leave sport to the athletes? Then again if bandwagon jumping was an Olympic sport we would have no problem fielding a very strong British or Scottish team ... composed of our politicians.

Booked Up.

Is it just Mr Smith or should the PM's focus at the moment not be on writing, but instead be on solving some of the country's economic woes?

"He may have his hands full with economic crises and leadership worries, but it seems Gordon Brown can still find time for a spot of writing. The prime minister is preparing to write his third book in four years, he revealed at the weekend. The book, which will include a contribution from Harry Potter author JK Rowling, is on being British. Mr Brown's previous titles include Courage: Eight Portraits and Britain's Everyday Heroes."

Mr Smith thinks the PM has most definitely take his eye off the ball and isn't doing the job he should be doing. Apparently he will only be writing a chapter for someone else's book, but he still found time to write the other two ...

The End?