Shrink Wrapped.

Mr Smith thinks this story smells of diversionary spin which seems to have worked in the case of the Scotsman to at least down grade Wendy Alexander's "guilty" verdict in Wendy Gate, at least for a day.

"Labour employs psychiatrist to beat Salmond ... Labour hopes that with a little expert help Wendy Alexander will finally get the upper hand on Alex Salmond ... WHEN it comes to winning political battles in the cauldron of the debating chamber, the mind games employed by the chief combatants are all- important. And most observers of the hurly-burly that is Question Time in the Scottish Parliament would agree that First Minister Alex Salmond tends to emerge victorious over his main adversary, Wendy Alexander ..."

Mr Smith has news for Scottish Labour. They are going to need more than a psychiatrist to help Wendy Alexander beat Alex Salmond in a straight forward Question Time challenge. They are going to need a new leader.

All-Party-ing.

Mr Smith sees that Labour MSP and peer Lord George Foulkes popped up again in the House of Lords on 9th June to plug one of his pet interests during a debate on the EU-Latin America Summit.

"My Lords, can I reassure my noble friend that there are some of us on her Benches who share the noble Viscount's interest in Latin America? I invite anyone else who would like to do so to come to Room 4A at five o'clock tomorrow afternoon when His Excellency Carlos Morales Troncoso, the Foreign Minister of the Dominican Republic, will be the guest of the Dominican-UK all-party group, of which I have the honour to be president."

Mr Smith wonders if Lord Foulkes gets to spend a lot of time in the Dominican Republic in his "all-party" capacity. Mr Smith is sure there is indeed a lot of "party"-ing involved.

Not Bill.

Contrary to Mr Smith's earlier assertions it would appear that former US President Bill Clinton's recent non-appearance in Aberdeen wasn't actually down to him.

"FORMER Olympic runner Brian Whittle is facing financial ruin after Bill Clinton pulled out of a showpiece speaking event in Scotland. Whittle, 44, who made his name in 400m racing, is a co-director of Glasgow's PB Events with former Scotland rugby star Derek Stark. The pair pulled off a huge coup by booking the ex-US president for Aberdeen Conference and Exhibition Centre this Sunday. But they failed to raise the cash demanded by Clinton's European agents."

Apologies Mr President, but never mind. You are still a "six figure sum" plus better off ... and you didn't have to travel to Aberdeen. Result.

Promises, Promises.

"The SNP Government ditched its manifesto pledge of giving every first-time buyer a £2000 grant, while introducing a new scheme to help those facing house repossession because of the credit crunch."

Mr Smith would have thought that £2K for first time home buyers would actually have been more useful now than it would have been at the time that the SNP made the pledge. It just shows you how government changes our politicians when they actually have to account and pay for the policies they promise in opposition. No wonder the voters have difficulty believing what the politicians say most of the time.

Goodbye Miss Wendy ... At Last.

Kerr-y On.

Drumlanrig says, "Does opposition mean Labour MSPs and former ministers have forgotten how to write? A statement issued by Labour's Andy Kerr lampooned Nationalist ministers as being reminiscent of a Carry On film, below. He thundered: "The fact that six minister's have been criticised in the last few days must be some kind of record." As any grammar teacher would tell him, the word should be "ministers" – no apostrophe."

At least he isn't Shadow Educashun Minister.

Going For Gold.

What an accolade.

"Jim Murphy, the Labour MP for East Renfrewshire, has been voted the "UK Government Minister of the Year" in a poll of MPs and members of the House of Lords."

Well done Jimbo. Keep up the good work. But how many actually voted and was the vote done using first past the post or STV ... and can we please have a referendum on the European Treaty?

Restless Natives.

Mr Smith thinks that when stories like this one make it into the press then there is a very strong possibility there is some substance to them.

"A MURMUR of discontent is insidiously making its way around the corridors in Holyrood. With it is a question, which MSPs increasingly appear to be privately (for now) asking – "Is our Presiding Officer up to the job?" To which more are beginning to answer "no".

Mr Smith thinks the Presiding Officer should be watching his back.

Innisfail.

Mr Smith was intrigued to read how one ex-pat Scot has played his part in preserving a unqiue part of American political history.

"A SCOTS millionaire has shelled out £1.5million for a historic yacht once used by American presidents including JFK. Frank Lynch, boss of the old Glasgow Apollo, bought the Innisfail for £770,000 then spent the same sum restoring it. The 68-year-old plans to lease the 92ft vessel used by John F. Kennedy, Bill Clinton, Richard Nixon, Harry S. Truman and Dwight Eisenhower to wealthy tourists."

That's dedication for you and a pretty big investment in helping retain a piece of American political history.

Bad Piper.

The cops really must have better things to be doing with their time, surely?

"BAGPIPERS have been cleared from the Royal Mile as police step up their drive against the "noise nuisance" caused by Scotland's national instrument. Pipers performing in the famous street have found themselves approached by a pair of police officers and ordered to stop and not return."

Ridiculous.

Guilty.

So, straight from the school of "we knew it, we've known it for a while, but hey ho" comes the startling revelation that Scottish Labour Leader Wendy Axander MSP broke Scottish Parliament rules by not declaring campaign donations.

"Scottish Labour leader Wendy Alexander broke parliamentary rules by not declaring donations to her leadership campaign, a Holyrood committee ruled. The committee will now decide what action to take against the MSP. Ms Alexander said in a letter to the committee that she acted in good faith, and on the advice of officials."

Is ignorance of the law ever an excuse? Probably. But not if it means that our politicians get to have one standard of not "deliberately" breaking the law, when everyone else is held to the standard of simply breaking it.

Mr Smith is tired of the spin that surrounds Wendy Alexander on this issue. She won't resign, but in not resigning she does massive damage to the body politic in Scotland and to the standing of the Scottish Labour Party. Perhaps her fellow Labour MSPs need to take matters into their own hands on this and vote her out as their Leader. But it appears they don't have the courage to do that.

Dancing On the Ceiling.

"HOLYROOD BOSSES have struck an out-of-court deal with two firms following the collapse of part of the parliament's roof two years ago. Officials have reached an agreement with construction company Laing O'Rourke and engineers Arup that will recover just less than £650,000 for taxpayers - 80% of what the parliament wanted."

£650,000 doesn't seem like much of a settlement given the disruption that was caused at the time to the running of the Scottish Parliament or given the scale of the error in construction. If Mr Smith ever needs a roof he knows which builder not to phone.

Public Good?

It used to be the case that some people in government argued that public was always good and that private was always bad. The latest report from Audit Scotland seems to put the kybosh on that one.

"Around two-thirds of Scotland's major building projects completed in the last five years came in significantly over budget, with the same number delayed or late in completing, according to a new report. Public spending watchdog Audit Scotland revealed a 13% overspend of £84m on 41 projects from hospitals to motorways totalling £730m, commissioned by the Scottish Government between 2002 and 2007. Of the 25 worse cases, the average overspend was 39%."

Given the fiasco of the cost overruns for the Scottish Parliament building at Holyrood should we really be surprised? Perhaps its time to create an independent public agency utilising the best of private sector experience to oversee and deliver public building projects away from the post contract interference of our elected or non-elected representatives and the oversight of civil servants? That was £730 million of your money and mine.

Goodbye Mr McConnell?

"Jack McConnell should quit his seat at Holyrood in the first half of next year if he is to take up his new post as High Commissioner to Malawi, according to a powerful Westminster committee. "

Mr Smith thinks that Jack would jump at the chance to say ta-ta to the murky world of Motherwell politics but his Imperious Labour Leaders will be less keen. Labour doesn't have a good track record when it comes to fighting by-elections in Lanarkshire, even when they hold the seats.

PS Should he rewrite the slogan on his website to read, "Working Together for Motherwell and Wishaw" ... and Malawi?

Bendy Wendy.

Since when was it news for a Scottish Labour MP to support his Scottish "Leader"? This story speaks a million words about the perilous position now occupied by Wendy Alexander in relation to the Westminster Branch of the Peoples' Party.

"WENDY Alexander received the support of one of Gordon Brown's Westminster allies yesterday over her call for a snap referendum on independence. The Scottish Labour leader's decision to back an immediate referendum is not supported by all in her party, but Nigel Griffiths, MP for Edinburgh South and a colleague of the Prime Minister, said yesterday a referendum should be held "as soon as possible", with a straight yes-no vote ..."

Deja Vu.

Mr Smith can't help but have a feeling of it.

"WENDY ALEXANDER has made yet another U-turn on a public vote on Scottish independence."

If you really want a referendum Wendy ... phone Gordon the PM. The UK Parliament could legislate for it tomorrow and with an inbuilt Labour majority at Westminster you shouldn't have any problems with getting it passed. Or would you?

Very Creative.

Mr Smith feels he must ask the obvious question which is why if Creative Scotland could be established without requiring legislation the Scottish Government had to waste it's time and that of the Scottish Parliament by trying to do it using its legislative powers, rather than by ... er .. just setting it up?

"Creative Scotland, the proposed new cultural funding body, could be established without the passing of a bill through parliament, it was claimed yesterday. Plans to establish the successor to the Scottish Arts Council and Scottish Screen ended in disarray this week as the Culture Bill, drafted to establish the body, was surprisingly voted down in the Scottish Parliament."

You've Been ASBO-ed.

"Each junior AntiSocial Behaviour Order (Asbo) has cost £500,000 since their introduction four years ago, the Scottish Government has revealed. Community safety minister Fergus Ewing disclosed the cost as he unveiled a new framework to combat youth offending which will place more emphasis on early intervention and prevention."

It seems to Mr Smith there isn't a lot of point in legislating for something which costs so much to administer and which clearly is not favoured as a tool by those who have the choice of using it. Mr Smith thinks we could have made better use of the £7 million so badly spent.

Especially when judges are complaining about youths who have been found guilty of committing crimes have to be released because there isn't the resource available to keep them locked up for public protection.

Mr Harris.

"A GOVERNMENT minister was today under fire after berating voters for being "so bloody miserable" in the face in the economic downturn. Tom Harris, a Transport Minister and MP for Glasgow South, said that despite the recent credit squeeze, people in Britain had never been so wealthy. But, writing in his blog on his website, he complained that people seemed to be afflicted by "crippling levels of cynicism and pessimism".

Is it any wonder that the voters are afflicted by "crippling levels of cynicism and pessimism" given the calibre and lack of integrity of some of our political leaders and their governmental flunkies? Step forward Mr Harris. Take a bow. At least he recognises it.

Video Killed ...

... One of Scotland's Members of the European Parliament.

"The cross-party campaign to retain Scotland's representation in the European Parliament has been snubbed by the UK Government, with the suggestion that the falling number of MEPs could handle the extra workload by more video-conferencing."

Mr Smith liked the Eighties. He suspects that one of Scotland's MEPs won't. But it is probably the first recorded case of political assassination by video-conferencing.

Dirty Washing.

From Alan Taylor, "My fly on the wall in Glesca’s Central Station calls on Friday morning with a strange sighting: Dougie Alexander, meenister for international development, scurrying for the Paisley train. About his person he has a see-through bag about half his size. On further investigation my spy confirms that it is full of dirty washing and surmises that Mr Dougie must be heading home to his mum to have his laundry done. Ever the student! Need I remind readers that Mr Dougie is a member of the Cabinet, charged with ending world poverty and unsanitary plumbing? Has he never heard of launderettes? Or bidie-ins?"

Mr Smith seems to recall that a former Labour MP was infamous for making use of the House of Commons large free postage buff envelopes to post back to Glasgow every day the shirt he had worn so that his better half could have it washed and ironed for him ready to take away again the following Monday.

No Votes.

Atticus records the fact that only two MSPs who were present for the vote on changing the controversial accomodation allowance scheme for Members of the Scottish Parliament last week chose not to use their vote. They were Liberal Democrat MSPs, Nicol Stephen MSP and his colleague Tavish Scott MSP, coincidentally both major beneficiaries of the current allowance scheme. Mr Smith wonders why they didn't vote?

Lost.

The SNP Scottish Government has lost the occasional vote before, but never an entire piece of legislation which by political standards is rather careless.

"THE Scottish Government was tonight dealt a humiliating public blow when its plans for a new national arts body collapsed in ruins. Ministers lost a crunch vote on the financial resolution of the Creative Scotland Bill in Parliament after Labour complained they had been misled over the financial implications of the Bill."

Sloppy. Mr Smith thinks that Bruce Crawford MSP, the SNP's Business Manager will be carrying out the autopsy as we post.

Very Observant.

Courtesy of Drumlanrig, "Last week witnessed the relaunch of the Scottish Catholic Observer, the country's only weekly religious paper, at a posh canapé and champagne do at the Balmoral Hotel in Edinburgh. The lunch was hosted by Sir Rocco Forte, owner of the hotel, who was also billed as the owner of the smart new-look paper, but Drumlanrig understands that a fair chunk of the paper is still owned by one Conrad Black, currently serving a jail sentence for fraud. It seems the SCO is continuing in the tradition of hating the sin, but loving the sinner."

Sure fire way to get press coverage though. Invite the press to the Balmoral for champagne and canapes. Very tabloid.

Trivial Pursuits.

Speaking of David Davis' by-election campaign, Mr Smith noticed these ridiculous comments from a potential rival to Mr Davis.

"David Davis's biggest rival for the by-election over the 42-day detention could be a beauty queen. Miss Great Britain, 26-year-old Gemma Garrett, representing the Beauties for Britain party, is planning to stand on a platform of making politics "sexy not sleazy" ... Ms Garrett, who stood in the Crewe and Nantwich by-election last month, rejected claims that she was playing "pantomime politics" and accused Mr Davis of being "trivial" for standing down on the issue of 42-day detention. "Was his decision to step down purely principle or is he a little crazy?" she asked. "We already have a 28-day thing in place anyway, so for the sake of 14 days I thought it was a little bit trivial."

Who's being "trivial"? Mr Davis or Ms Garrett? You decide.