Mamma Mia.

From the Herald Diary, "WHAT do politicians do on their lengthy summer holidays, a reader asks. Well, if you are Glasgow Labour MP Tom Harris, you go to the pictures - but the blockbuster Mamma Mia!, it seems, was not to his liking. As Tom writes on his website: "Do yourself a favour: if you haven't already seen this movie, don't. Instead, go out and buy Abba's greatest hits CD, and have a sing and a dance in the privacy of your own home, in the sure and certain knowledge that, however embarrassed you may feel, you'll be turning in a more entertaining performance than the cast of Mamma Mia!" Somehow the thought of MPs dancing around in their living rooms to Abba is one to be quickly expunged." Maybe he should just stick to reading books on his holidays?

Mr Smith MEP.

"MEP helps to get 20 cows pregnant ... A Scots MEP has completed a fortnight's farming work experience - including helping to get 20 cows pregnant. The SNP's Alyn Smith worked as an artificial insemination technician in Dumfries and Galloway as part of his agricultural training."

Mr Smith is even more impressed given that Alyn is by his own admission ... gay.

Beginning Of The End?

"A former Scottish minister’s grim warning that fulfilling the pledge to bring devolution to Scotland could prove “the beginning of the end for Labour” was strongly rejected by the party’s politicians. Brian Wilson, a former energy minister, dismissed the contenders for leadership of Labour at Holyrood as “worthy but scarcely inspirational”, and said the “obsession” with constitutional reform had been “a disaster” for Labour in Scotland."

Mr Smith tends to agree. But, it is well seen Mr Wilson is a former politician.

Small Print

Belatedly Mr Smith recalls a salutory warning that one should always read the small print.

"A Scottish MP who was sued by an electrician over an unpaid call-out fee was ordered to pay up. Brian Donohoe was taken to court by Dale McNair after he refused to pay the £64 bill, claiming that he had been taking advantage of free advice offered by the electrician in an advert."

Nae Luck Mr Donohoe.

Unlucky For Some.

"THE contenders for the Labour leadership in Scotland learned a key pointer to their fate yesterday when nominations closed, giving Iain Gray more support from MSPs than rivals. He received 13 nominations from MSPs, compared to 12 for Cathy Jamieson and 10 for Andy Kerr. Mr Gray also appeared to confirm his new position as bookmakers' favourite, providing most trade union support, with 15 bodies, as well as seven affiliates."

Here's hoping Mr Gray isn't superstitious, what with thirteen MSP nominations.

The Gray Man.

"THE frontrunner in the race to became Labour's new Holyrood leader has suffered a blow after a YouGov poll showed that three-quarters of Scots barely knew anything about him. Only 4% of respondents in a YouGov poll said they knew "a lot" about Iain Gray, the East Lothian MSP who has taken an early lead in the contest. The sample found that 8% were familiar with his leadership rival Andy Kerr, while 17% said they knew "a lot" about the third candidate, Cathy Jamieson. The snapshot, commissioned by the SNP this month, found that 76% knew "little about" Gray or had "not heard" of him at all."

But of course the research was commissioned by the SNP which seems to be quite keen on Iain Gray not being Leader of the Scottish Labour Party. Mr Smith wonders why? Could it be because he might just be Labour's best hope as Leader?

Booked Up.

Is it just Mr Smith or should the PM's focus at the moment not be on writing, but instead be on solving some of the country's economic woes?

"He may have his hands full with economic crises and leadership worries, but it seems Gordon Brown can still find time for a spot of writing. The prime minister is preparing to write his third book in four years, he revealed at the weekend. The book, which will include a contribution from Harry Potter author JK Rowling, is on being British. Mr Brown's previous titles include Courage: Eight Portraits and Britain's Everyday Heroes."

Mr Smith thinks the PM has most definitely take his eye off the ball and isn't doing the job he should be doing. Apparently he will only be writing a chapter for someone else's book, but he still found time to write the other two ...

What's In A Name?

From Drumlanrig, "Wales has stolen a march on the SNP after its Assembly decided last week to apply for a new domain name for its internet address, to be known as .cym. This has now emboldened the Nationalists to press ahead with their own change which could see all Scottish Government departments soon end in .sco. No doubt Labour peer Lord Foulkes is already gearing up for a bitter tirade against creeping nationalism."

Mr Salmond Is Away.

"FIRST Minister Alex Salmond is to spend his holiday playing golf in Scotland. Mr Salmond will take a short break on the west coast of Scotland, his spokesman said. He will go on leave and will return to work next Monday."

Somewhere in the West of Scotland. If you see him let Mr Smith know.

Bruvvers.

Courtesy of Drumlanrig, "The Scottish Labour leadership contest has not pleased the brothers in Scotland's big unions. The unions all get a vote in the election process but, as they have never done it before, they are all now having to get a new list of all their members and send out ballot papers to them. For the biggest union in Scotland, Unite, this is expected to cost at least £100,000. "That's money which we could have spent campaigning to get the party back in power," complained one Union chief. Yet another add-on cost of devolution, it seems."

Democracy ain't cheap.

Around The World.

Looks like we have the antics of another Councillor being quite properly exposed.

"A SCOTTISH councillor is at the centre of a £26,000 expenses row after claiming enough mileage in two years to have driven twice around the globe. North Lanarkshire councillor Charles Cefferty claimed back 54,000 miles in work-related car travel between April 2006 and April 2008, four times higher than any other member representing the same ward. Last year alone, Cefferty claimed mileage worth £16,000 – higher than his £15,000 salary – and thought to be the highest of any councillor in Scotland."

He doesn't look much like Fileas Fogg and another insight into the murky world of Lanarkshire politics, although he is an "Independent."

Bog Standards.

"SCOTLAND'S top firefighter has splashed out £5000 of public money on a luxury ensuite bathroom for his office. Controversial Brian Sweeney ordered an upgrade of all the toilet facilities at Strathclyde Fire and Rescue HQ in Hamilton, Lanarkshire. His bathroom now has a heated towel rail. But a Brigade spokesman defended the cost, adding: "It is the first time in 20 years that it has been refurbished." Sweeney was criticised last year for joining a £16,000-a-year private dining club then dating the director."

You really couldn't make this sort of thing up.

Dodgy.

Is it just Mr Smith or does this appear to be another example of one law for a Councillor and one law for everyone else. Very dodgy.

"Councillors have overturned an official’s recommendation and granted Lochaber’s provost consent for a house development. Allan Henderson sought approval to change the use of an existing holiday unit in the grounds of his Gantocks home at Achintore Road, Fort William, into a stand-alone house. But planning official Stephen Fair claimed the sub-division would result in inadequate spacing between the two properties."

Would Joe Public have gotten such a sympathetic decision?

Dream Ticket.

"Tavish Scott and Nick Clegg will make a "dream ticket" for the Liberal Democrats, said former UK leader Sir Menzies Campbell. His endorsement came with that of former Scottish leader Lord Wallace, meaning that Mr Scott now has on board four peers, eight MPs and seven MSPs, giving him an unassailable lead among the party hierarchy."

Mr Smith thinks just about the only thing that can possibly stop Mr Scott from becoming Scottish Lib Dem Leader is an endorsement from Sir Menzies Campbell MP. He looks a certainty, but does anyone care?

Councillor Kalashnikov.

"An SNP councillor in Glasgow has been suspended over allegations that he fired a Kalashnikov assault rifle while visiting Pakistan. The incident was said to have taken place during a family holiday in 2005. A party spokesman said there was no suggestion that Jahangir Hanif had broken the law but it appeared to be "foolish and inappropriate conduct". Councillor Hanif said the incident took place before he was elected. He will now face a disciplinary hearing."

Mr Smith thinks that the introduction of proportional representation last year for local council elections has certainly had an impact on the calibre of Scotland's 1,200 councillors. Unfortunately, not for the better as this story makes clear. How many other dodgy Councillors avoided adequate scrutiny from the voters last year?

A pat on the back to the Evening Times for breaking the story. He should be forced to resign by the SNP Leadership.

Head And Shoulders.

"A FORMER Labour minister has launched a withering attack on his "arrogant" Westminster colleagues whom he accuses of being "resentful and contemptuous" of the Scottish parliament. Tom McCabe, a one-time finance minister who ran Wendy Alexander's campaign to become Labour leader last year, warns his party will be "pushed to the fringes" for "a very long time" if it does not radically reform itself."

Scenario: The average Westminster Labour MP, who is head and shoulders in calibre above the average Labour MSP, being "resentful" of the Scottish Parliament.

Really? Hands up who believes that one.

Er ... Anyone?

The Truth Hurts.

"Scotland's top civil servant has become embroiled in a row over political bias after saying the SNP was elected because of public discontent at a widening poverty gap and other problems under Labour. Sir John Elvidge, the Scottish Government’s permanent secretary, said the creation of Holyrood highlighted the poor state of health, education, and poverty north of the border under two Labour-led coalitions. Sir John’s comments, made in a professional journal, have been criticised for appearing to breach the protocol which requires civil servants to avoid becoming involved in party political issues."

The truth does hurt, but when is Sir John due to retire?

Bonus Ball Anyone?

"POLICE officers across Scotland have been paid more than £14million in bonuses in the last year."

Nice work if you can get it. It's better than the lottery.

Who's There?

"THEY'VE all been high-profile Holyrood ministers and now they're fighting for the top job in Labour. But do ordinary voters recognise Andy Kerr, Cathy Jamieson and Iain Gray? We hit the streets of Scotland with their photos to find out - and just for fun, we included a picture of Mr Big, from TV's Sex And The City. Jamieson was recognised by half the people we polled. Only one in 12 could name Gray and two named Kerr. But every single person could identify Mr Big - alias actor Chris Noth."

Who is Mr Noth? Mr Smith wants Mr Noth to be Leader of the Scottish Labour Party. At least people would know who he is.

Bad Cop ... Yet Again.

He's a bad cop, but for how much longer?

But if he wasn't a police officer would he have gotten off so lightly?

"A nightclub doorman who was headbutted by an off-duty policeman has hit out at the justice system after his attacker escaped going to court. Instead, Constable Samuel Johnston had to pay David Cantwell compensation of £250 and is still a serving officer in Fife. Mr Cantwell says he has been denied justice - but prosecutors say the case was handled in the manner laid down by the Scottish Parliament."

Inhale?

Mr Smith was interested to read a brief profile of the three candidates for the Scottish Labour Leadership in the Sunday press and their different responses to the quesion of whether they had smoked canabis?

Cathy Jamieson MSP, a former Justice Minister declared: "Like many of my generation, I have tried it, but as an otherwise non-smoker I did not find it a pleasant experience."

Andy Kerr MSP and architect of Scotland's smoking ban declined to answer the question.

With Iain Gray MSP commenting that "Come on, I was student in the '70s."

Commendable honesty ... except from Mr Kerr. And Ms Jamieson gets nearest to the "smoked it, but never inhaled" line from former US President Bill Clinton uttered during his first Presidential election campaign.

Polling Power.

"The SNP claimed yesterday that polling evidence showed the party maintaining its momentum in the wake of their Glasgow East by-election last week, putting it ten points ahead of Labour. They say that an analysis of the Scottish segments of UK polls in the course of July, including two polls this week, puts them on 37% compared to 27% for Labour, well up on the only purely Scottish poll a month ago. The Tories are on 17% on this analysis, and the LibDems on 14%, with others totalling 5%. The Nationalist claim this aggregate of polling evidence points to them winning 35 seats in a general election, compared to just 13 for Labour."

Mr Smith thinks we need to take the SNPs claims with a pinch of salt, but then again that is probably what Mr Smith would have said about SNP's claims about winning the Glasgow East by-election ... and look what happened.

2-1 On.

Mr Smith thinks it won't be that straightforward, it shouldn't be given Andy's record, but when did you last meet a losing bookie?

"FORMER health minister Andy Kerr is the bookies' favourite to win the battle for the Scottish Labour leadership. Ladbrokes have made him 2-1-on favourite, with former enterprise minister Iain Gray at 3-1 and acting leader Cathy Jamieson at 4-1. So far, Kerr has the declared backing of 10 MSPs, Jamieson 12 and Gray 13."

Flying The Flag.

"A rebranding of Scotland's rolling stock with Saltire livery has been criticised as a waste of money. It is feared the cost of redesigning and repainting trains and stations to give them a uniform look will run into millions of pounds. The move by Transport Scotland would see the Strathclyde Partnership for Transport (SPT) brand at stations and on trains removed."

One million pounds is a lot of money for paint and some Saltires. Welcome to Scotland.

And Then There Were Three.

"Three candidates will battle to become the next Scottish Labour leader, it has been confirmed. The contest will be between former health minister Andy Kerr, former deputy leader Cathy Jamieson and finance spokesman Iain Gray."

Looking at the nominations on the Scottish Labour Party's website all of the candidates felt the need to ... nominate themselves ... which seems a bit strange to Mr Smith. But given the balance in the number of supporters for each of the candidates' nominations there doesn't appear to be a clear frontrunner. This could run and run until mid-September.

The race for the Deputy Leadership looks more predictable with Johann Lamont MSP having more support from MSPs than Bill Butler who looks certain to be the also ran in the contest. Significantly one Mr Butler's supported his wife Patricia Ferguson MSP.