By St George.

And from Atticus, "Take your ringside seats, please, for today’s least likely political dispute. In the blue and white corner, Alex Salmond. In the red and white corner, let’s hear it for St George and his dragon. The first minister of Scotland and leader of the Scottish National party has poured scorn on St George, describing England’s patron saint as “mythological”. Or at least, more mythological than St Andrew. “At least our patron saint was real,” says Salmond. “St George is a mythological figure, and if George wasn’t, the dragon certainly was.” Salmond was responding to a newly published book by historian Hugh Trevor-Roper, who died in 2003. Called The Invention of Scotland: Myth and History, the book claims many Scottish traditions are based on “myths and falsehoods”. Even the kilt, says Trevor-Roper, was invented by a Lancashire Quaker. St Andrew was one of Christ’s apostles, but the Royal Society of St George says their man was just as real. “He was a serving Roman soldier,” says a spokesman. “His life was well documented at the time.”

It seems that Oor Alex is becoming a bit of an expert on Saints these days what with opening new schools and upsetting the English. But surely even he knows that dragons do indeed exist? He only has to look at his Deputy to realise that.